EXtra Credit

How does Ivan's quest for status, advancement, prestige, and generally the approval of others endanger his chance to live a more meaningful life?

When I read the assignment i was intimidated cause i thought the reading would be harder to read than it turned out to be. I'm a very slow reader and get frustrated quickly but i was surprised that i actually enjoyed reading The Death of Ivan Tolstoy, i found it to be more interested that expected. I felt that because he was greedy and wanted to achieve so much in his life, being that his ultimate objective was to be approved by others he didn't take time to step back and see how it was effecting his ability to life a much more significant and meaningful life. It was clear that he was living life for everyone Else's satisfaction not his own, in that time all he was doing things for other people. One example that stuck out to me more than anything else was when he married wife Praskovya Fedorovna, she treated him horribly, didn't seem to show any respect. He didn't defend him self and was seen as an easy target. On pages 102-113 he writes about after his death Praskovya grieved and cried over him (but it was all an act) she just had her eyes on the prize, which was his money. While he was alive he would be "abused" by his wife anything she did not want to do was his job. For Ivan "no" was not an option he was under the control of his wife. He got caught in his own trap, he was to easy to take advantage of because he tried to make other people happy before worrying about his own well-being. Everything eventually caught up to him, when he realized how he was being treated but he seemed to almost be too late. His defense was to run away from him "family" and "friends" he slowly tried to distance himself and spent less and less time at home.

I never got the sense he was very confident in his own ability which held him back in life. He went through life with an extremely slow self-esteem which i believe lead to his depression, he has this mentality that he was not good enough for anyone. He didn't even seem to enjoy what he was doing with his life, he serve as court justice but because that was what his dad also did he felt some sort of pressure to follow in his footsteps. He did not want to be another let down and had to work that much harder because he had to compete with his brother who was the favored son.

I felt Ivan didn't do enough in his life for him and was not very true to the person he wanted to become, which ultimately prevented him from living a more meaningful life. It made it clear that he felt life was just boring and very repetitive. I can understand if you do the same thing over and over and over again you wont enjoy life, i believe life is truly what you make it and he didnt do enough. Boredom is often a cover up for depression. He did not know how to stand his ground and let the people around his change his mindset, he got so sucked in he was not even able to think for himself. His ideas and morals where not his but the peoples around him.

In a way this sort of connects to out unit on what it means to be "cool", he did things he knew were not right just because he wanted others to see him a certain way, he never though for himself. On page 105-106 Ivan did horrible things that he knew others would approve of even if he knew they were wrong, he thought his actions were acceptable and OK. All and all it seemed to be an act that he was hiding his real feeling and emotions behind.