I was in class for the guest speakers so i decided to sit down and talk in depth with a family friend who has 3 children what she she felt made a "Good Parent":
1. Nurture your child's self-esteem. Your words and actions as a parent affect your child's developing self-esteem more than anything else. Praising your child's accomplishments, however small, will make him or her feel proud; letting your child do things independently will make him or her feel capable and strong. By contrast, belittling comments or comparing your child unfavorably with another will make him or her feel worthless.
2. Make time for your children. With so many demands on your time, it's often difficult for parents and children to get together for a family meal, let alone spend some quality time together. Children who are not getting the attention they want from their parents often act out or misbehave because they are assured of being noticed that way. Many parents find it mutually rewarding to have pre-scheduled time with their child on a regular basis. Create a "special night" each week to be together and let him or her help decide how you will spend your time. Look for other ways to connect with your child - put a note or something special in his or her lunch box.
3. Try and be a good role model. Young children learn a great deal about how to act by watching you. The younger they are, the more cues they take from you. Before you lash out or blow your top in front of your child, think about this: is that how you want your child to behave when he or she is angry? Be constantly aware that you are being observed by your children. Model the traits you wish to cultivate in your child: respect, friendliness, honesty, kindness, tolerance. Exhibit unselfish behavior. Do things for other people without expecting a reward. Express thanks and offer compliments. Above all, treat your children the way you expect other people to treat you.
4. Make communication a priority. You can't expect children to do everything simply because you, as a parent, "say so." Children want and deserve explanations as much as adults do. Parents who reason with their children allow them to understand and learn in a nonjudgmental way. Make your expectations clear. If there is a problem, describe it to your child, express your feelings about it, and invite your child to work on a solution with you. Be sure to include consequences. Make suggestions and offer choices. Be open to your child's suggestions as well. Children who participate in decisions are more motivated to carry them out.
5. `Show that your love is unconditional. As an effective parent, you are responsible for correcting and guiding your child. But how you express your corrective guidance makes all the difference in how your child receives it. When you have to confront your child, avoid blaming, criticizing, or fault-finding, which undermine self-esteem and can lead to resentment. Instead, strive to nurture and encourage, even when you are disciplining your child. Make sure he or she knows that although you want and expect better next time, your love is there no matter what.
*** I think that there is not a "correct" way to parent you children, it comes with practice however i think that the interveiw above provides very useful advice on how to approch parenting. I think it is extremly important that the parents be felxible when it comes to deciding how they want to parent their children.
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